so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
