Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
