when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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