What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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