just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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