You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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