So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize