Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
