Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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