I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
