is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize