Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
