Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize