Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
