Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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