margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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