You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
