It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Randomize
