did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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