we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize