So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
