Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
