Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize