yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
