So drunk, too bad you don't want this
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
