I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
