Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
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