so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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