I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
