problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
love makes seman taste better
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
