I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
