party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
