Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
