The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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