It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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