He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
