what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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