do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
