I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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