just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
