yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
