that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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