how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
