Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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