Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
