It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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