i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
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