I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
