I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
