There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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