He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
of course. lets lasso hookers.
it glows. i had to have it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
