i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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