i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
