Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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