Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
