alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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