i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
worst night to have a conscience
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Randomize
