No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Don't tell me you're on acid again
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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