i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
