SEEEEXXX PLEASE
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
