I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
