How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize