Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
