Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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