I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
The Olympian is in my bed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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