i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
