Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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