so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
you win again, gameday.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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