How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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