My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
