Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
