all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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